The family and I have been moving into our new home for the past two weeks. That means I am all consumed with our house, unpacking, and minor details important to an obsessive comparative person such as myself like decorated light switch covers. I have barely checked my Facebook, which really portrays the severity of the matter.
The past few weeks have been really hard. I have been abosultely exhausted and complete frazzled to have my life in a million pieces, nothing where it belongs, and trash and boxes everywhere. I know it's just things. Stuff. Possessions. I'm learning that those things are actually really really important to me and it bothers the hell out of me when they aren't in their designated places. I am a nester with a extremely strong need for a beautiful environment. The first week I stayed up til all hours with Eric unpacking. This week I am driving my self crazy with the precise placement of hanging pictures and fighting through bouts of exhaustion to get in tune with the feng shui of it all. I don't even know what that means.Yes, I have a bit of OCD and its a problem.
Remarkably I have not turned to booze and chocolate through it all. And lookie here, I only have a week left in my 30 days!I am very used to the routine now, and saying no to potatoes and corn chips and ice cream seems second nature. I am really looking forward to celebrating the end of the 30 days though. This isn't sustainable. I really miss wine at the end of the day. I can't pin down any changes in my body or mind. I don't weigh myself anymore so I have no idea if I have lost weight. It doesnt feel like I have. I didn't get into the gym once last week and I was feeling inhuman. I have made myself go in twice this week. Its been ages since I have run, I haven't searched out good places to go with the jogger near by. So normalcy is not quite where I am yet.But I am getting there.
I dont feel like eating super clean has cleared my mind much. Granted this is one of the most stressful times I could have chosen. My anxiety is through the roof and my back has been consistent causing me a ton of pain. Its very clear that I am ignoring the physical signs of my body in stress, not taking time to even stretch or do any mobility, Its so difficult for me to do anything that's not resulted to improving the state of this house. A regular yoga practice would save me. Add it to the to do list...
Finn is adjusting best all of, he makes it seem like no big thang. He has been enjoying the end of summer.
And hes walkin'!Yes he's Walkin'!
Some progression picture of the chaos... Its much better now, will have new pictures soon!
The first night we cooked.Check out my homemade chandelier!
I am settling into the routine but I would like for it to be day 28 instead of 8! Turns out I miss the booze the most instead dessert and chocolate, which is surprising. When I feel stressed, a cocktail is what I have been wanting most of all.
The past few days have been mostly very rewarding and fun. I have already ridden Robin twice which is an awesome development, considering I thought she might not be adjusted enough for 3 more weeks!. I got on and she was very relaxed and we settled into our routine.
Mihr and Sylas came to meet Robin!
We went to a crazy fun party for our friend's dad at their gorgeous estate. It was a scavenger hunt/surprise tractor ride, involving the birthday boy in a clown suit, a bee bee gun, and so much deliciousness...
I didn't cheat on any of the drool worthy gluten pictured above, but I had homemade cherry and sheep's milk (!!) ice cream. I'm not sorry. It was amazing.
Yesterday I felt better. I am settling into making good decisions about what to eat, and not feeling nearly as hungry- mostly because I just eat when I am! We took Eric to work, and spent the day doing fun stuff!
hiking with Finn in the woods.
And frustrating not fun stuff
Picking out counter tops and sinks with unhelpful Lowes staff.
Today was RAD because Robin arrived! After a 4 day journey on a big ol' semi, she stepped off looking confused and curious, and very healthy. She didn't lose much weight. She has to be quarantined, separated from the other horses for 10 days. We will be spending lots of time together and getting her acquainted with her awesome new home.
After getting up at 4am!!! (which is crazy town for me, usually requiring the birth of a child), I napped with Finn for 4 hours. I'm feeling a lot less angry and less of an urge to constantly smash things and cry. Hooray! And I finally made in into Charlottesville CrossFit, coached today by the 12 fittest women in the world, Gretchen K :)
Wow not too promising for 3 days into this huh? Maybe I am detoxing, maybe I'm completely on the verge of a breakdown having not been settled for 5 weeks, maybe its the insomnia, maybe my awful back injury keeping me from proper exercise... I just feel like crap. I thought cutting out the bad foods would make me feel awesome- I guess its just taking this particular body some time.
I just had a huge dinner of roast chicken and every veg of the season and my stomach is cramping and revolting. I have to keep this short because I have to impose a no technology rule after 8pm in order to battle my insomnia. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.
Hooray for these guys: Finn, cousin Sylas and Eric.
2 days in and I would love a beer because we're at Beer Run. It's going ok, but I've been hungry all day.
Breakfast was almond flour pancakes, made with eggs and a banana, and chia seeds and whole milk yogurt with blueberries. That's a high sugar, high fat meal early on in the 30 days, could probably use a little more protein. I get tired of eggs, I eat them 85 percent of breakfasts.
I had a salad with homemade chorizo for lunch and then tuna with pesto a few hours later because I was starving.
Dinner was challenging since we went out. I had steak and sauteed veggies, but still feel hungry ! I'll eat when we get home.
I'm crippled from hurting my back deadlifting over a week ago, I can hardly pick Finn up. Thats really frustrating, because usually I'm working out hard when my eating is this clean. We moved back to Virginia 3 days and I haven't been able to get into our new Crossfit gym yet. Blah.
I'm trying to get to bed earlier, which should be easier without all the booze and junk clouding my brain. But last night I was kept awake by bats...
I started this blog as an outlet for my thoughts and ideas, and I'm going to revisit that intention now. I realize maybe 2 people that I don't know have stumbled on it other than my family, and that's just fine. I'm not disciplined enough to post every day, or even once a month. For the next 30 days I'm going to use The Strong Mama as my own record of a Paleo Challenge- if some new friend stumbles along, hey there , how are ya, welcome.
I have been very hypocritical when it comes to diet for a long while now. I expound the virtues of Paleo and primal eating, yet I have never fully embraced the lifestyle. I cheat all. the. time. Partially because I have had an eating disorder for 15 years and any kind of restrictive or even vaguely limiting kind of eating is very triggering and scary. Not being "allowed" to eat sugar or grains is sure way to set off binging.
However I really do believe in the Paleo lifestyle. As a human being and an athlete. My child eats a very clean paleo diet and I hope he will choose to continue it thoughout his life. I'm not going to define the diet and why the mass produced, highly processed food culture we live in is literally making us fat, diabetic, diseased, and into early graves.
This blog is an outlet for me right now and I don't have the energy to throw the science your way. I have to focus on getting healthy before I can explain the why and the how. The message I want our family to take away is that Eric I don't believe in carb counting and do not eat Paleo, or stay on a "diet" to lose or maintain weight or be beautiful. We do it because the alternative is terrifying and we want to live long, vibrant lives.
If you are my family or friend and want understand why sugar, ALL grains, corn fattened meat, soy, and processed foods (to name a few) are killing us, and why our family is choosing to avoid that fate, please do some research. Google paleo, primal eating, Mark Scisson, and Robb Wolf to start. There is a wealth of information at your finger tips.
I personally have never been judegmental or hyper vigilant in my conversations about nutrition. It's really hard for me to talk about given my distorted, disturbing, and life threatening relationship with food. If you want to talk more about it, I'm open, but I won't try to tell you how to eat. I do believe 99 percent of Americans and honestly most of our friends and family are playing Russian roullette with their health through their food choices. But I can't change anyone else, it's been a huge challenge just to change myself. It's important for those close to us to understand why Finn's nutrition in particular is of such crucial importance to me. I'm setting him up for a lifetime of health because he is going to know truths about food in America that I didn't know as a child.
Back to the hypocrisy part. I've never even done a strict Paleo challenge. A lot of new comers and cross fitters will do 30 day challenges, as an intro or to just periodically clean up their diet. Back in November I started researching what Paleo eating entails. I cut out gluten and most grains. We are a lacto- paleo family, because we believe the benefits of clean, grass fed, and when possible, raw dairy outweigh any risks and digestive dangers. So that won't be something I will cut out.
The offenders ? I consume A LOT of sugar, in the form or alcohol, chocolate, honey, maple syrup, and fruit. I will also get a corn tortilla at the Mexican joint and eat corn chips, pretending I'm being healthy not getting the flour version. Well the reality check is that the corn is wrecking my guts just as much as the wheat. The sugar ? It has to stop, especially the alcohol because when I drink, I get sloppy and make poor food choices. And it's just sugar in the end, which wreaks havoc on the body.
So to sum 'er all up, for the next 29 days, this is what's going into my body pretty exclusively but not without slight imperfections (Paleo purists would scoff, but guess what? I'm not a cave woman, I will never slaughter a mammoth, and I know my limitations around restrictive eating.)
Lots of this:
Some of this:
And a bit of :
Limited food to currently photograph and losing patience with this long post written on my phone , but hopefully you get the idea.
Ill try to check in everyday with progress. If you love me, please hold me accountable.